elohvee: (Default)
[personal profile] elohvee
you can have it.
Supernatural. Sam/Dean. R. Approx. 570 words. Set during 1x12, "Faith". I was working three other fics and then [livejournal.com profile] la_folle_allure gave me this prompt (which I'm not sure is even medically possible but I don't really care anymore) and this ficlet was like, Bitch, fuggedaboutit, I pwn you. So it pushed its way to the front of the queue and...happened. Title from Philip Levine.


      Give me back my young brother, hard
      and furious, with wide shoulders and a curse
      for God and burning eyes that look upon
      all creation and say, You can have it.



It's like a trick of light. Daytime and it's all too harsh, too sharp, too focused. There's too much to look at all at once, too much to hear or say, so they push it all under and it only breaks through when their guard goes down, and that's not often.

Nighttime and blue moonlight or the cheap yellow of a streetlamp, a disco ball for the moths, and it's softer. Muted. Enough so that Sam can only just make out the line of Dean's body. Enough so that loud and fierce and obnoxious becomes soft-spoken and pleading, enough so that Sam forgets normal and forgets to argue back.

Dean slips into Sam's bed and presses up close behind him and whispers, Please. Sammy, please. I want it. I'm not, not fucking broken enough that I can't. Come on.

And Sam says, No, Dean, you can't, I can't, I'll hurt you, it'll—

And Dean says, No. Please. Sammy.

And so there's this. There's the blue light through the window and the sheets growing damp beneath them, Dean's head tilted back and his mouth halfway open and Sam's hand flat over his heart, Sam pushing inside him too fucking slow, afraid he'll hurt Dean worse, somehow, but he's counting beats and measuring heart rate in his head. He tries it again, stopping when they're as close as they can get, and he says in his brother's ear, Dean, please, you can't handle it, not yet, but after, once we find—

Do it, Dean growls. Almost an order. He lifts his hips and turns his head to scrape his teeth over Sam's throat.

It comes down to this: Sam refuses to believe there might not be an after. Dean's not sure he wants one. And they're both too fucking stubborn to consider alternatives.

Sam bows his back and watches his brother. He hitches his hips and Dean's eyes close.

And it's this. It's the curve of Dean's throat and the light through the window. This, the stubble burns left on their skin when it's over. This, this, this, Dean's moan when Sam moves just right, Dean's hand reaching for his own dick, Sam's fingers closing tight around his wrist and pulling him away.

He pins Dean's arm above his head and says, Stay like this. Just like this. He licks his palm, moves his left hand to Dean's cock, the other never leaving his brother's chest.

Faster, Dean says, and he arches into Sam's grip and the slide of Sammy inside him. Sam ignores his brother's pleas, holds tight to the measured rhythm they've got, like he's afraid Dean will shatter beneath him if he moves faster, like he thinks Dean's teetering on an edge, ready to fall and break into a million slivers of glass and bone. Dean says, Harder. Please, Sammy, I want it—and Sam kisses his throat and does something with his hand and wrist, moves his whole body and once, and Dean thinks he's coming apart at the seams.

Later, they lay curled around each other like they haven't since they were kids. Tangled arms and legs and the sheets twisting over sleep-warm bodies and moving with the steady rise-fall of their breathing.

The light outside the window goes off and a cloud drifts in front of the moon. Dean half-mumbles something in his sleep and rolls onto his side, and Sam stays awake for hours, counting heartbeats instead of sheep.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] esorlehcar.livejournal.com
Later, they lay curled around each other like they haven't since they were kids. Tangled arms and legs and the sheets twisting over sleep-warm bodies and moving with the steady rise-fall of their breathing.

The light outside the window goes off and a cloud drifts in front of the moon. Dean half-mumbles something in his sleep and rolls onto his side, and Sam stays awake for hours, counting heartbeats instead of sheep.


Oh, this is lovely, particularly the last line... so gentle and sad and sweet.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you. :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bionicaknee.livejournal.com
Oh, this is just so, so lovely. Sweet, but yet still so them.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you. :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lalita82.livejournal.com
Very sweet fic.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 10:14 pm (UTC)
ext_14775: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lady-shain.livejournal.com
Oh. Lovely. Poignant, and achy, and the last two paragraphs are killer.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you. :O) I'm glad you liked it.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shorts7.livejournal.com
...and Sam stays awake for hours, counting heartbeats instead of sheep.

Oh, this touches to the very core. Beautiful and sweet, that overshadows sums up the entire emotional situation.

Loved this piece of the boys.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you! :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anakin415.livejournal.com
this wrenched my heart............. love love love

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callmerayray.livejournal.com
Oh, this was beautiful and tragic and... yes.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you. :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-26 11:34 pm (UTC)
poisontaster: Screencap of Moana, leaning into the wind (Default)
From: [personal profile] poisontaster
The thing that constantly amazes me about this fandom and the writers in it is the ability to break my heart while SIMULTANEOUSLY making me squirm in my seat. And then I don't know what to say, other than....wonderful. Yes, like that, please, always?

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Heee, thank you.

It helps that we're all masochists. Every week they break our hearts, and we still keep going back for more.

I'll try for always. :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la-folle-allure.livejournal.com
*flails* *flails more*

*just keeps flailing and will never be ablt to not flail because you have just made her day SO much better and she will finish that Wee!Fic if it KILLS her*

I love you like John loves Mary, baby *huggles*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
So, you wanted French. For your amusement, this is what your comment looks like in French according to FreeTranslation.com or something like that:

*bat l'air* *bat l'air plus*

*garde juste battre l'air et ne sera jamais ablt pour ne pas battre l'air parce que vous avez juste a fait son jour SI beaucoup d'améliorer et elle finira que Petit ! Fic s'il la TUE*

J'aime vous aime que John aime Marie, le bébé *huggles*


I'm amused and I don't even speak the language.

*SQUISHES YOU AND NEVER LETS GO*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] la-folle-allure.livejournal.com
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LANGUAGE??????

WHORE!

Who I love.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
I HAVE DONE NOTHING. BLAME THE TRANSLATOR H0R.

*loves back*

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:05 am (UTC)
stormcloude: peace (Default)
From: [personal profile] stormcloude
So melancholy and tentative and I love seeing Dean want things, even when they're not good for him, but they're what he needs.

I think Sam is as much wrapped around Dean's finger as vice verse. It's just in a different way.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
He really is; it's part of what I love about these boys' relationship. Such fun, angsty dynamics.

I'm glad you liked it. :O) Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belovedsnail.livejournal.com
oh wow. first of all, i am such a huge fan of titling and/or prefacing stories with lyrics or poetry, and that stanza you used is too perfect for words. so, you know, i was with you from the beginning.

this is really beautifully described, all hushed and pretty and the phrase a disco ball for the moths makes me irrationally happy. Sam's sweet, slow deliberateness really comes across, so that when i finished reading it i sort of wanted to just sit around breathing carefully for a while. his concern really comes through, too, and it's nice to read this fic knowing that it turns out all right in the end.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
I honest to God don't remember the last time I didn't title something with song lyrics or poetry; I'm glad somebody likes it. :O)

Hee, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:54 am (UTC)
ext_16562: <lj user="black_balloonxx"> (Default)
From: [identity profile] kashmir1.livejournal.com
This was achingly beautiful and felt like it was just a missing scene from the episode. Very lyrical and moving. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 02:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wendy.livejournal.com
Sam stays awake for hours, counting heartbeats instead of sheep.

That is just heartbreakingly beautiful and perfect.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leilu-slash.livejournal.com
omg that was lovely. I adore the fics gentle sadness and that Dean's need has to struggle against Sam's fear.

Sammy, please. I want it. I'm not, not fucking broken enough that I can't. Come on.

Poor, poor Dean. *wibbles*

I think you capture Sammy's love,devotion and fear so sweetly.

...Sam stays awake for hours, counting heartbeats instead of sheep. and that just killed me.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluesister.livejournal.com
I arrived at your preface perfectly fine. Saw Mr Levine's name and thought, huh, I've done mindblowing things in his house. Then you two broke me.
*is broken*

I hope you're happy now. ;) And this IS beautiful.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Breaking people make me happy? Not unless their name is Winchester... ;O)

Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zenamydog.livejournal.com
Gee i have to say that was impressive! Nice story. Nice porn.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Mwah, thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girlmostlikely.livejournal.com
This is just GORGEOUS. Lovely and loving and sensual and just... so very yum. ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you! ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quietdiscerning.livejournal.com
oh god. the FEELINGS in this are so gorgeous. they hurt and theyre raw and its perfect for this.

the last two lines slay me. so much.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-27 08:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tittakv.livejournal.com
I like the intimacy of this. It's sweet and achy at the same time. Nice work!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-08-28 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thanks so much! :O)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-01 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impertinence.livejournal.com
Oh wow. I love this so much. Very evocative and well-written.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-01 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-18 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tabaqui.livejournal.com
It comes down to this: Sam refuses to believe there might not be an after. Dean's not sure he wants one. And they're both too fucking stubborn to consider alternatives.

Oh, that's just sweet. Sweet and hurty and perfect.
Love it.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-18 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wheebubbles.livejournal.com
Hee, thank you.

April 2009

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
26272829 30  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags